Thursday, July 16, 2009
endings
Today was a difficult day.
My patient was 20.
He'd had a drug overdose.
His family had made the difficult decision to put him on comfort care.
Today was the first day I'd cared for him.
Today was the day he died.
Normally this kind of thing doesn't get to me that much.
But he was so, so young, and the family was so, so heartbroken.
It was tough to watch.
I cried.
More than once.
But you know what?
I did a f*cking outstanding job as their nurse.
The patient died peacefully without signs of pain.
The family was all gathered at the bedside singing and praying.
I reassured the family that the patient's signs & symptoms were normal, that he was very near the end, that their feelings of guilt/anxiety/relief were all nomral, that they didn't need to worry about any logistics, that they were doing the right thing by holding the patient's hands and touching him.
My excellent coworkers took over care for my other patients for a while so I could devote my time to this family.
I got the chaplain, the palliative care doc, and the medicine attending doc to stop by before the patient died.
I did postmortem care to get the body ready for friends and family to see.
I paged a couple other doctors who had cared for the patient so they could visit the family.
The nightshift nurse who had asked for me to be assigned to the patient came in at the end of my shift and we hugged and told each other what a terrific nurse the other was.
I called another of my coworkers on my way home to give her some positive feedback the family had shared with me.
Now I am drinking a large alcoholic beverage.
And wishing there was some way to tell people not to use heroin and aprazolam together.
My patient was 20.
He'd had a drug overdose.
His family had made the difficult decision to put him on comfort care.
Today was the first day I'd cared for him.
Today was the day he died.
Normally this kind of thing doesn't get to me that much.
But he was so, so young, and the family was so, so heartbroken.
It was tough to watch.
I cried.
More than once.
But you know what?
I did a f*cking outstanding job as their nurse.
The patient died peacefully without signs of pain.
The family was all gathered at the bedside singing and praying.
I reassured the family that the patient's signs & symptoms were normal, that he was very near the end, that their feelings of guilt/anxiety/relief were all nomral, that they didn't need to worry about any logistics, that they were doing the right thing by holding the patient's hands and touching him.
My excellent coworkers took over care for my other patients for a while so I could devote my time to this family.
I got the chaplain, the palliative care doc, and the medicine attending doc to stop by before the patient died.
I did postmortem care to get the body ready for friends and family to see.
I paged a couple other doctors who had cared for the patient so they could visit the family.
The nightshift nurse who had asked for me to be assigned to the patient came in at the end of my shift and we hugged and told each other what a terrific nurse the other was.
I called another of my coworkers on my way home to give her some positive feedback the family had shared with me.
Now I am drinking a large alcoholic beverage.
And wishing there was some way to tell people not to use heroin and aprazolam together.
Labels: nursing
Comments:
<< Home
Oh Honey! I haven't needed very many nurses in my life, thankfully, but you, seriously, are my Nurse Hero! Good job nursewise and humanwise! You rock!
# posted by 
: July 18, 2009 7:40 PM
: July 18, 2009 7:40 PM
Wow. What a tough day at work. You are such a strong person.
While you're trying to tell people not to be stupid, why don't you just tell them not to use heroin at all?
While you're trying to tell people not to be stupid, why don't you just tell them not to use heroin at all?
tragic.. Your response and post here makes me feel good that there are nurses like you out there. The comment posted by 'Emilie' disturbs me and that attitude leads people toward a path of relying on dope for comfort. I was a heroin addict years ago after going through a very hard time in life and lost friends that were using. I was on the east coast where the heroin is a powder and the rate of overdose and death is much much higher. I was fortunate enough to survive but still often pour my first sip on the ground in memory of friends lost. Heroin is a bad choice so I only hope this man's death will deter some others from using.
# posted by : October 31, 2009 4:41 AM
: October 31, 2009 4:41 AM
Sounds like a very stressful work environment. I think that not everyone is made to become a nurse, or even work in the health care workplace because one must be able to control their emotions until their shift is over but as humans, this goes against everything we are born with. I couldn't imagine bottling up so much emotion that happened all too fast. Keep your head up!
Post a Comment
<< Home
