Tuesday, August 29, 2006
book reports
I have a huge backlog of books that I've already read but haven't written up, and it occurs to me that I'm starting 9 months of school in a few weeks and I don't really see myself doing a lot of book reporting in that time... so prepare yourselves for a great deal of literary rambling. If book reports bore you, come back next month when I'll have interesting nursing stuff to talk about.
But before I turn back into my former lit major identity, I want to write some more about working with hospice patients. I know it's too early in my nursing student experience to declare what I want to do - but I really think I like working with people near the end of their lives. Putting that down in black & white sounds kind of morbid, but my most satisfying caregiving experiences have been with patients who are on hospice or about to die.
I've already written about Hospice Lady, who I think is just holding on because her children are going to come visit her soon. There was also Tired Lady, who went rapidly downhill and passed away peacefully in her sleep (my name for her refers to the fact that over the last week of her life, every time I asked her how she was feeling, she said "I'm just so tired." I think she was just done, you know?). I was one of her caregivers during that week and while it seemed obvious to me that she was going to die, her family and her doctor didn't seem to notice. Interestingly, her children called me every time she needed anything at all - help to the toilet, changing a soiled nightgown, eating some food (although they were successful in getting Tired Lady to come up with something that sounded good to eat), getting dressed, whatever. Of course I was glad to do all of it - but it was neat to have this moment of "aha! that's why I'm here! Her family is dealing with emotional stuff and baggage and can't just take care of her, so I will!"
And finally, the last couple days I took care of Bedridden Lady who was given less than a month to live... six months ago. She is basically unable to bear weight on her limbs and can barely speak, and spends most of her time in bed. I didn't do anything heroic while caring for her - I fed her and changed her and put lotion on her face and cleaned her mouth and put some moisture goo on her lips and opened the blinds when she gestured toward the window. And all I got in return was some smiles and a couple of "thank yous" - but that was more than enough.
I know a lot of people are creeped out by caring for patients who are near death - and even my husband has asked me if I'm setting myself up emotionally by getting attached to terminal patients. But I'm not. When Tired Lady passed away I felt relieved for her - she was just so tired, and now she can rest. And when Bedridden Lady and Hospice Lady pass on, I will be relieved for them, too. I will miss Hospice Lady but I know she's ready to die, and that death will not be a sad thing for her. And spending time with her near the end of her life has been a joy for me, and for her - I know because she tells me! It is really, really rewarding for me to be present with these people.
Who knows, I may end up feeling this excited about other areas of nursing as well. Which is why I won't make up my mind until I've been through all my clinical rotations... but I have to say, I'm really drawn toward hospice work.
But before I turn back into my former lit major identity, I want to write some more about working with hospice patients. I know it's too early in my nursing student experience to declare what I want to do - but I really think I like working with people near the end of their lives. Putting that down in black & white sounds kind of morbid, but my most satisfying caregiving experiences have been with patients who are on hospice or about to die.
I've already written about Hospice Lady, who I think is just holding on because her children are going to come visit her soon. There was also Tired Lady, who went rapidly downhill and passed away peacefully in her sleep (my name for her refers to the fact that over the last week of her life, every time I asked her how she was feeling, she said "I'm just so tired." I think she was just done, you know?). I was one of her caregivers during that week and while it seemed obvious to me that she was going to die, her family and her doctor didn't seem to notice. Interestingly, her children called me every time she needed anything at all - help to the toilet, changing a soiled nightgown, eating some food (although they were successful in getting Tired Lady to come up with something that sounded good to eat), getting dressed, whatever. Of course I was glad to do all of it - but it was neat to have this moment of "aha! that's why I'm here! Her family is dealing with emotional stuff and baggage and can't just take care of her, so I will!"
And finally, the last couple days I took care of Bedridden Lady who was given less than a month to live... six months ago. She is basically unable to bear weight on her limbs and can barely speak, and spends most of her time in bed. I didn't do anything heroic while caring for her - I fed her and changed her and put lotion on her face and cleaned her mouth and put some moisture goo on her lips and opened the blinds when she gestured toward the window. And all I got in return was some smiles and a couple of "thank yous" - but that was more than enough.
I know a lot of people are creeped out by caring for patients who are near death - and even my husband has asked me if I'm setting myself up emotionally by getting attached to terminal patients. But I'm not. When Tired Lady passed away I felt relieved for her - she was just so tired, and now she can rest. And when Bedridden Lady and Hospice Lady pass on, I will be relieved for them, too. I will miss Hospice Lady but I know she's ready to die, and that death will not be a sad thing for her. And spending time with her near the end of her life has been a joy for me, and for her - I know because she tells me! It is really, really rewarding for me to be present with these people.
Who knows, I may end up feeling this excited about other areas of nursing as well. Which is why I won't make up my mind until I've been through all my clinical rotations... but I have to say, I'm really drawn toward hospice work.
Labels: CNA, nursing, nursing school
