Wednesday, July 12, 2006
hospice
One of my residents who is on hospice told me she was ready to die.
She is very weak and mostly incontinent, but is still able to get around a little in her wheelchair. She takes pleasure in spending time with people, passing out hugs and kisses in the dining room like a politician running for office. She has very little appetite but still eats a bit at each meal. She has some memory loss but is perfectly capable of holding a conversation and expressing herself appropriately.
Last weekend I worked the evening shift on the floor where this resident lives. And when I was getting her ready for bed, she told me she wanted to die. I took a deep breath and said, "you feel like you're ready?" and she said yes. I sat down and took her hand, and said "It sounds like you're tired of the way things are now." And she exclaimed, "Yes! I'm exhausted!" I told her I could understand why she might feel that way. She got very quiet for a few minutes and patted my arm and petted my hair (I have long hair and was wearing it in pigtails) - she seemed to find the touch reassuring. Then she said, "Maybe I just won't wake up tomorrow." And I agreed, "Maybe you won't. Or maybe you will, and either way, whatever happens will happen." She smiled. I asked her what I could do for her before she went to sleep - she wanted a drink of water, and a hug and a kiss, and then she smiled again and said, "And hit me over the head with a baseball bat!" I couldn't help but laugh... but pointed out that I wasn't going to do that. She said, "Well, I don't have a baseball bat anyway."
I sat with her for a little while longer just holding her hand. She told me after a few minutes that she would be able to sleep. So I kissed her goodnight again and went on my way.
How did I do handling this situation? I wanted to make it clear that it was okay for her to talk with me about dying, that I wasn't uncomfortable or creeped out. She seemed comfortable with my response.
She is very weak and mostly incontinent, but is still able to get around a little in her wheelchair. She takes pleasure in spending time with people, passing out hugs and kisses in the dining room like a politician running for office. She has very little appetite but still eats a bit at each meal. She has some memory loss but is perfectly capable of holding a conversation and expressing herself appropriately.
Last weekend I worked the evening shift on the floor where this resident lives. And when I was getting her ready for bed, she told me she wanted to die. I took a deep breath and said, "you feel like you're ready?" and she said yes. I sat down and took her hand, and said "It sounds like you're tired of the way things are now." And she exclaimed, "Yes! I'm exhausted!" I told her I could understand why she might feel that way. She got very quiet for a few minutes and patted my arm and petted my hair (I have long hair and was wearing it in pigtails) - she seemed to find the touch reassuring. Then she said, "Maybe I just won't wake up tomorrow." And I agreed, "Maybe you won't. Or maybe you will, and either way, whatever happens will happen." She smiled. I asked her what I could do for her before she went to sleep - she wanted a drink of water, and a hug and a kiss, and then she smiled again and said, "And hit me over the head with a baseball bat!" I couldn't help but laugh... but pointed out that I wasn't going to do that. She said, "Well, I don't have a baseball bat anyway."
I sat with her for a little while longer just holding her hand. She told me after a few minutes that she would be able to sleep. So I kissed her goodnight again and went on my way.
How did I do handling this situation? I wanted to make it clear that it was okay for her to talk with me about dying, that I wasn't uncomfortable or creeped out. She seemed comfortable with my response.
Labels: CNA, nursing, nursing school
Comments:
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I don't know if I'm qualified to critique how you handled it, but you sure wrote about it well.
That's an amazing post.
That's an amazing post.
# posted by 
: July 15, 2006 6:20 PM
: July 15, 2006 6:20 PM
That was a very compassionate and respectful way of dealing with her feelings. You were non-judgmental and gave her the chance to be listened to and really be heard. I think you did excellent.
# posted by : July 16, 2006 11:48 AM
: July 16, 2006 11:48 AM
You did exactly the right thing. The other things you might do are ask her if is anybody specific she'd like to talk to: family member, etc. Validate her feelings, listen and tell her that you care about her. She'll hear you.
Hi, Sounds like you handled a tough situation very well. You don't know me but I'm stubmled across your blog. I am taking nursing pre-req's at Shoreline CC and hoping to apply there as well. I am also looking to get my CNA and was wondering where you got yours and how you liked the program. Hope you don't mind me commenting even though I don't know you. Good luck in your nursing program! P.S. I also live in Greenwood :)
Doug - thanks for the compliment!
Barbara and Third Degree Nurse - thanks for your validation of MY feelings. :)
Chelsea - good luck at Shoreline! It's tough to get in but after finishing my first quarter there, I have to say I wouldn't want to be anyplace else. As for my CNA training, I did it at NATI last fall. It took about 6 weeks and cost around $400. I thought the quality of the training was pretty good, and I highly recommend working as a CNA before going to nursing school - it helped me a LOT first quarter to already have some caregiving experience.
Barbara and Third Degree Nurse - thanks for your validation of MY feelings. :)
Chelsea - good luck at Shoreline! It's tough to get in but after finishing my first quarter there, I have to say I wouldn't want to be anyplace else. As for my CNA training, I did it at NATI last fall. It took about 6 weeks and cost around $400. I thought the quality of the training was pretty good, and I highly recommend working as a CNA before going to nursing school - it helped me a LOT first quarter to already have some caregiving experience.
Hey, Gonna bug you one more time...I signed up for the CNA class and figure I might as well buy high quality white shoes now as I imagine I'll need them at Shoreline too if I get in. So does Shoreline have any specific shoe requirements I should be aware of? I've seen a lot of schools say no clog style shoes. Thanks for the advice.
As a longtime hospice nurse, I applaud your responses and comfort with supporting this resident's comments and feelings. I hope you will consider exploring a career in hospice.
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# posted by : July 29, 2006 6:53 AM
: July 29, 2006 6:53 AM << Home
