Monday, February 28, 2005
dreams
I had two weird dreams this weekend. Both, oddly enough, had to do with high school. It's been almost 12 years since I graduated from high school and it really has no relevence to my life anymore... so why?
Dream #1: R* and I were attending a reunion of my high school class (something I've never done and will likely never do, and am certain R* will never do either). R* had somehow been appointed the musical director of the evening, so he was telling the band what to play and when to play it. At the end of the event, he took the microphone to talk to the crowd, but one of the people who planned the event (my school friend Anita, who I met when we were four years old)interrupted him and told him he couldn't speak because he wasn't important to them. R* just stormed out silently. I got up from my seat to follow him, but first I screamed at the whole group about how rude they were, and I intentionally used profanity and "used the lord's name in vain". Anita prissily reprimanded me for my foul mouth and offensive heresy. When I got outside, R* was waiting for me on the sidewalk and all he said was "Assholes". When I woke up, I was really, really upset and it took me a long time to calm myself down. I have no idea why it seemed like such a big deal - I haven't spoken to Anita in nearly 10 years and I certainly don't give a crap about what my high school classmates think about me.
Dream #2: I dreamed that I was at some kind of stadium event with R* (a lecture? a movie?) and that I recognized the man sitting next to him as my first real boyfriend (we were 15 then), Evan. I felt overwhelmingly happy to see Evan and introduced him to R*. I exchanged phone numbers with Evan and we promised to call each other, even though he was living four hours away. The next day, I picked up the phone to call him after R* left for work (apparently I was a woman of leisure in this dream? hahahahahaha!), but as I dialed, Evan walked in the door. I rushed over to him and we started kissing, and then I came to my senses and pushed him away and said, "I'm happily married, this is wrong." And his comeback was, "But I drove four hours just to see you!" I don't remember how this dream ended. I do know where Evan is now, but I haven't spoken to him in more than 10 years and don't really care to.
So what is all this high school flashbacking about? I know there's one theory that says everyone in your dreams is actually you - but that doesn't really clarify anything for me.
Any armchair psychologists out there want to take a guess?
Dream #1: R* and I were attending a reunion of my high school class (something I've never done and will likely never do, and am certain R* will never do either). R* had somehow been appointed the musical director of the evening, so he was telling the band what to play and when to play it. At the end of the event, he took the microphone to talk to the crowd, but one of the people who planned the event (my school friend Anita, who I met when we were four years old)interrupted him and told him he couldn't speak because he wasn't important to them. R* just stormed out silently. I got up from my seat to follow him, but first I screamed at the whole group about how rude they were, and I intentionally used profanity and "used the lord's name in vain". Anita prissily reprimanded me for my foul mouth and offensive heresy. When I got outside, R* was waiting for me on the sidewalk and all he said was "Assholes". When I woke up, I was really, really upset and it took me a long time to calm myself down. I have no idea why it seemed like such a big deal - I haven't spoken to Anita in nearly 10 years and I certainly don't give a crap about what my high school classmates think about me.
Dream #2: I dreamed that I was at some kind of stadium event with R* (a lecture? a movie?) and that I recognized the man sitting next to him as my first real boyfriend (we were 15 then), Evan. I felt overwhelmingly happy to see Evan and introduced him to R*. I exchanged phone numbers with Evan and we promised to call each other, even though he was living four hours away. The next day, I picked up the phone to call him after R* left for work (apparently I was a woman of leisure in this dream? hahahahahaha!), but as I dialed, Evan walked in the door. I rushed over to him and we started kissing, and then I came to my senses and pushed him away and said, "I'm happily married, this is wrong." And his comeback was, "But I drove four hours just to see you!" I don't remember how this dream ended. I do know where Evan is now, but I haven't spoken to him in more than 10 years and don't really care to.
So what is all this high school flashbacking about? I know there's one theory that says everyone in your dreams is actually you - but that doesn't really clarify anything for me.
Any armchair psychologists out there want to take a guess?
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Sometimes you have to look back before you go forward; maybe something that happened in high school parallels what is happening now? :)
Oh, and I highly recommend going to your 20th or 25th high school reunion -- by then most everyone has lost all the high school attitude and they're just people. I really liked mine, and found I really liked some of the people I couldn't stand then, after they'd had time to grow up. :)
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Oh, and I highly recommend going to your 20th or 25th high school reunion -- by then most everyone has lost all the high school attitude and they're just people. I really liked mine, and found I really liked some of the people I couldn't stand then, after they'd had time to grow up. :)
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