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Monday, June 19, 2006

 

not a CNA, not yet a nurse

Do you have Britney Spears in your head now? No? Then go back and read the title of this entry again.

Today was my first day training at the Old People Hotel. I've been away from the CNA role since April 1st, which really isn't that long. And I've had 10 weeks of nursing school, which really isn't that much. And yet I found today that I feel completely differently about the CNA job than I did in April.

The girl who trained me is actually one of my classmates from my CNA training class last fall, which was a nice surprise - it was nice to see a familiar face in a new setting. But I was very much struck by the attitude of "getting my work done" that all the CNAs showed - not that they are uncaring or abusive to the residents in any way. But instead of putting the residents' well-being first in their minds, they are more concentrated on finishing their tasks on time. That is such a contrast to the conditioning we've gotten in nursing school, where we are taught to be primarily concerned with the client's needs and preferences even if that makes our job harder. (Up to a point, obviously.)

I think I was probably somewhat this way before starting nursing school, although I'd like to think that I was more attuned to what my residents wanted and needed. I guess it was easier at The Home because the residents were for the most part more "with it." So it was easier for me to remember to respect their individuality, because they would remind me.

In any event, I'm pretty sure that what my nursing instructors would tell me to do is to model the behaviors that I believe to be correct. So I will model good teamwork, respectful treatment of residents, and personal responsibility. And I will earn my stardust ('cause you sure can't call a CNA's wage "money") and keep my head down until it's time to go back to school.

Also, I went to the gym and worked out after work - and then soaked in the hot tub for my aching feet. I am not used to be on my feet 8 hours a day anymore.

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Saturday, June 17, 2006

 

book report: Shadow of the Wind

Shadow of the Wind
by Carlos Ruiz Zafon

I had never heard of this book before my friend E* included it in a box of gifts she mailed me. E* has an unusual talent for selecting gifts for me despite the fact that we've only seen each other once in the past 10 years, and that I clearly do not hold up my end of the gift-giving exchange nearly as well! So when I discovered this novel in the box, I figured she knew what she was doing.

And wow, did she ever. I was rivted by the story - it opens with our narrator Daniel, a young boy at the time, awakening from a nightmare. His father, a bookseller, decides to comfort him by taking him to visit the Cemetery of Forgotten Books, where Daniel chooses an obscure novel by author Julian Carax to treasure as his own.

From there, the story quickly becomes more complex and convoluted. I thought at the beginning that it would be a novel of self-discovery, but it develops into more of a mystery and adventure than I expected. There are innumerable twists and turns. I had trouble putting it down, even at work. In fact, my coworkers at The Home teased me for holding the book with one hand and trying to eat my lunch with the other.

Unfortunately, it doesn't look as though Ruiz Zafon has any other books out, at least not in English. I would be happy to discover that I am wrong!

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book report: Embroideries

Embroideries
by Marjane Satrapi

Marjane Satrapi is the author of the "Persepolis" books, which I enjoyed a great deal. So when I heard she had a new book out, I requested it from the library right away. But it really didn't do much for me... the thing that was so great about the Persepolis books was that the combination of her sparse, direct writing and her striking illustrations gave her story an immediacy that words alone could not. But in Embroideries, I didn't get that same sense of immediacy. The structure of the book might explain my problem with it - it is set as a conversation with a group of women, friends and family members, talking about their sex lives and sexual issues. But as each of them tells her story, the reader is taken out of the moment and pushed into a different experience, then yanked back into the group's conversation. I found it difficult to get involved with each character because there was such a short time with each one - especially in a graphic novel where words are few anyway.

Even though this is a pretty negative review, I'll definitely go looking for Satrapi's next book. She's got an interesting take on the world and I'm curious to see what she tackles next.

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Friday, June 16, 2006

 

that's it!

I took my last final yesterday and am officially done with my first quarter of nursing school. I know I should feel elated, but mostly I just feel tired. Part of that is probably exhaustion from the whole whirlwind experience. Part of it has to do with some psychological issues I'm dealing with myself (don't worry, Mom, I'm not hugely depressed - I'm just struggling with the ongoing anxiety). Part of it has to do with some stuff R* and I have been dealing with together (again, don't worry Mom, we're just dealing with finances and they're tight and money makes me anxious!).

But now summer is here! And I'm starting my new job on Monday morning, at the assisted living place. I never heard back from the mom of the little girl - I guess that means she wasn't interested. Well, whatever. I'll work as much as I can at... hmm... I need a new work alias. Let's go with Old People Hotel. So yeah, I'll work as much as I can at the Old People Hotel and that will help our financial situation, and I'll work on all the home projects I want to do, and go to the gym a lot. The gym is more or less between the Old People Hotel and home, so I can probably trick myself into working out by going there after I work a morning shift, because I'll get off at 2:00. Then in August/September I already have some babysitting work lined up, so I'll be able to earn a little extra on top of my job. It's even possible that I could keep 2 shifts a week or so during the next quarter of school, which would ease the financial burden on R*. That would be good for both of us, I think.

We got email today telling us what our clinical assignments will be. I am in the least-desirable clinical group - at a big hospital downtown with clinical on Thursdays and Fridays. Parking at this place is $5/day, and if I were to take the bus, it would cost me $2.75/day and take more than 2 hours of commute time. I may carpool with one of my classmates instead - she lives fairly close and we discussed it today. And she would probably pay for parking in gratitude for not having to drive downtown. We are in clinical with one of the Problem Children from our class and we are both dreading the experience. We've agreed to remind each other to stay calm and professional, even when Problem Child makes us want to scream.

Another part of the email was the textbook list for fall quarter. It looks like I'm going to be able to spend less than half of what I'd budgeted on textbooks because I have the opportunity to shop around and order them early. The campus bookstore is such a ripoff! But first quarter I had no choice because I had to buy books the day classes started.

Out of the 30 students who started this quarter, we ultimately lost 7. One dropped out voluntarily and the rest failed one or more parts of the program. That seems like a frighteningly high attrition rate... I hope it's not like this every quarter. There is a core group of people who I really like and want to stick with - I should write them an email proposing that we get together and join forces to get through the program! Maybe we need a secret handshake or something...

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Wednesday, June 14, 2006

 

101 Cookbooks

101 Cookbooks

I think I should take a hint from this site and make myself cook from my cookbooks! (I don't have 101, however.)

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Tuesday, June 13, 2006

 

book report: The Golden Notebook

The Golden Notebook
by Doris Lessing

I really wanted to like this book. It's held up as a great, creative, boundary-breaking novel by a tremendously gifted writer. And I can see how the structure especially was ground-breaking when it was first published in 1962. The book is more like a collection of novellas than a single work - it encompasses the "real life" story of the main character, Anna Wulf, and long excerpts from each of the 4 notebooks that she keeps for herself. The notebook that I found most interesting was the yellow notebook in which Anna writes fiction. She wrote a very long fictionalized version of her years in Africa with other young European Communists in the 1950s... which was fascinating and completely outside my experience. But I was horribly frustrated by Anna's continued self-sabotage... not to mention the fact that I couldn't relate, at all, to the anguish she felt over her relationship with The Party. And her vivid descriptions of the revulsion and helplessness she felt with some of her lovers gave me a cold feeling in the pit of my stomach.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that this is a "good" book, in the sense that it is well-written and left an impression on me... but I didn't like it very much.

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Sunday, June 11, 2006

 

book report: The No. One Ladies' Detective Agency

The No. One Ladies' Detective Agency
by Alexander McCall Smith

This book was utterly charming. I'd heard so much about it that I thought I would be disappointed, but I wasn't.

Precious Ramotswe is a woman from Botswana who decides to start her own business as a private investigator after the death of her beloved father. She investigates cases, makes some new friends, and even has a little romance. She doesn't have a lot of formal education, but does have a great deal of common sense and courage, which make her a success in her new line of work.

This is the first book in a series - I will definitely read the rest.

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summer plans

Rosebuttons, your comment made me laugh... I am definitely not in love with every one of my classmates! But there is a smallish group of us who are very tight and I appreciate them so much.

So this summer is nearly upon me. I've got a couple of things pending, and lots of plans. The pending things: I interviewed for a CNA job at an assisted living & Alzheimer's care facility that is SO NICE. I actually really hope that they hire me - I was extremely impressed with the dementia care practices I saw and would like to get a closer look at that. I may change my mind in the future but right now I'm still quite interested in working with the elderly after graduation. The other pending thing is a possible babysitting job for a 9-month-old girl a few afternoons a week. Her mom is a freelance graphic designer and wants to have someone watch her daughter while she gets some work done. I should hear back about both of these opportunities in the next few days.

I have other plans, too - I really really really want to get in shape. My intention is to go to the gym or work out hard at home every day (granted, I won't achieve it every single day), and I'm still trying to figure out how to fit it in, but I really want to do yoga every day too. And I want to keep our house spotless. And I want to finish a bunch of projects that have been up in the air for a long time. And I want to clean up my garden. And I want to cook healthy meals and use up stuff in the pantry. And I want to go through all our closets and cupboards and other hiding places and get rid of the stuff we don't actually use.

Where can I get another 12 hours a day to fit all this in?

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Thursday, June 08, 2006

 

classes done, finals left

Today was my last day of class for the quarter. I'm done with exams, done with logs, done with nursing process papers, done with roleplaying, done with skills lab. Now I just have two finals to take next week and I am off for the summer!

This has been a really intense experience, these last 10 weeks. I felt at such a disadvantage going in, because I was notified so very late that I would be able to join the program. But since then, I've risen to the challenge and more than succeeded. I am proud to say that I have excellent test scores and excellent feedback from my instructors - and most important to me, I have had some of my classmates say REALLY kind and heartfelt things to me, completely unsolicited. Today I gave a classmate a ride home and out of the blue she told me, "You have such a calm manner with people, I think you're going to be a terrific nurse." That was so nice to hear.

7 of us went out to breakfast between classes today and had such a good time together. It's going to be sad to not be with this same small group of people in clinicals next quarter - although I hope at least some of us will be together!

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